Was visiting a friend of mine earlier today when there was a knock on the door.
Two bright young things collecting - "Help the aged" they said.
Quick as a flash, my friend said "Yes please, all these leaves in the front garden need raking up. Hang on I'll go and get the rake"
Somewhat taken by surprise they didn't quite know what to say, so he continued
"I am the bloody aged and I need your help as offered"
They just fled. We couldn't stop laughing.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Out of Recession, Part Two
I rather liked this heading:
Leading the World Out of Recession
(From Behind Everyone Else)
see Iain Martin's WSJ Blog
Leading the World Out of Recession
(From Behind Everyone Else)
see Iain Martin's WSJ Blog
Out of Recession ! ! !
According to the today's news we are out of the recession because the economy grew by 0.1% in the last quarter of 2009.
Great isn't it! A whole tenth of one percent growth (probably rounded up from some lower figure)!
Now the definitions of going into and coming out of recessions are funny things. The generally accepted definition of entering a recession is when there are two consecutive quarters of negative growth. However to come out of a recession, it seems that we only need to have one quarter of infinitesimal growth and hey presto, its all over!
This, of course suits politicians, particularly Labour politicians, as it is now impossible for us to be in recession at the time of a general election as we cannot now have two further quarters of negative growth because the figures for the second quarter cannot come before the end of July!
But then we have to remember that this was fully expected! We were assured by Gordon that our country was best placed to come out of the recession. Well, he's really tried! Reducing VAT cost the country a lot of taxation revenue; Interest rates are stupidly low, and less than inflation, so anyone with spare cash was tempted to spend it whilst the going was good, no wonder people went out spending. Even so, a mere 0.1% growth, how low can you get! But will it even be this minuscule amount next month? Well time will tell. Not that it matters to Gordon, because we are out of the recession!
Incidentally, if we were so well placed, why is it that Germany, without any major government activity has been out of recession for two quarters, 0.4% in the June quarter and 0.7% in the September quarter with the figures for the final quarter not yet available. By any measure they are way ahead of us.
But We are Out of Recession. Neither the government or the BBC will let us forget this, whatever happens in the next quarter!
Great isn't it! A whole tenth of one percent growth (probably rounded up from some lower figure)!
Now the definitions of going into and coming out of recessions are funny things. The generally accepted definition of entering a recession is when there are two consecutive quarters of negative growth. However to come out of a recession, it seems that we only need to have one quarter of infinitesimal growth and hey presto, its all over!
This, of course suits politicians, particularly Labour politicians, as it is now impossible for us to be in recession at the time of a general election as we cannot now have two further quarters of negative growth because the figures for the second quarter cannot come before the end of July!
But then we have to remember that this was fully expected! We were assured by Gordon that our country was best placed to come out of the recession. Well, he's really tried! Reducing VAT cost the country a lot of taxation revenue; Interest rates are stupidly low, and less than inflation, so anyone with spare cash was tempted to spend it whilst the going was good, no wonder people went out spending. Even so, a mere 0.1% growth, how low can you get! But will it even be this minuscule amount next month? Well time will tell. Not that it matters to Gordon, because we are out of the recession!
Incidentally, if we were so well placed, why is it that Germany, without any major government activity has been out of recession for two quarters, 0.4% in the June quarter and 0.7% in the September quarter with the figures for the final quarter not yet available. By any measure they are way ahead of us.
But We are Out of Recession. Neither the government or the BBC will let us forget this, whatever happens in the next quarter!
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Bans - Day Seven - Final Day!
When I started upon the subject of Bans, I was quite convinced that I'd find a new one every day, or at a minimum someone wanting a new ban every day. It seems that I was wrong, or perhaps those people who like thinking of new bans haven't yet recovered from Christmas due to their having been doing the very things that they would like to stop the rest of us from doing - overindulging with food and drink (and possibly cigarettes). Perhaps next week they will recover, I propose to keep an eye on this situation where officials, do-gooders, crackpots and all the rest want to stop the English people from doing things that they've done for generations.
My total wasn't bad, three on day one and another couple the next day. A couple more on day three, although one was only a local council and the other from France, but unfortunately nothing on day four. One on day five, and on day six no banns as such but several new laws which are in fact bans on various activities.
Perhaps they all gave up for Sunday (or I suppose actually Saturday), but its not a bad haul for the week, certainly an average of one a day!
My total wasn't bad, three on day one and another couple the next day. A couple more on day three, although one was only a local council and the other from France, but unfortunately nothing on day four. One on day five, and on day six no banns as such but several new laws which are in fact bans on various activities.
Perhaps they all gave up for Sunday (or I suppose actually Saturday), but its not a bad haul for the week, certainly an average of one a day!
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Bans - Day Six
Well I haven't actually found any proposed bans in today's papers, but I have discovered a few interesting new laws passed by this government which are effectively banns on personal freedom.
For example, there is an offence of disturbing a pack of eggs when directed not to by an authorised officer. I'd better be careful next time I go into Tesco for half a dozen eggs; how often have I found two packs each with a broken egg and done a bit of judicious swapping to get six unbroken eggs. I wonder who this "authorised officer" is who might tell me not to do this.
There is a new offence of swimming within the Titanic. As this is somewhere in the cold North Atlantic, one could hardly imagine that it is a popular past time! I wonder if they've installed CCTV cameras to catch people who do this without authorisation from the appropriate Cabinet Minister! And if an American citizen decides to have a swim there, will they try to extradite him?
Chris Huhne, the Liberal Democrats' home affairs spokesman, attacked the Government for an "acute and prolonged bout of legislative diarrhoea". For once I must, reluctantly, agree with the Lib Dems. Labour apparently has created around 4,300 crimes since the came to power
When UKIP talks about "Independence" not only meaning independence from Europe but also in our personal lives, is is easy to understand what they mean.
For example, there is an offence of disturbing a pack of eggs when directed not to by an authorised officer. I'd better be careful next time I go into Tesco for half a dozen eggs; how often have I found two packs each with a broken egg and done a bit of judicious swapping to get six unbroken eggs. I wonder who this "authorised officer" is who might tell me not to do this.
There is a new offence of swimming within the Titanic. As this is somewhere in the cold North Atlantic, one could hardly imagine that it is a popular past time! I wonder if they've installed CCTV cameras to catch people who do this without authorisation from the appropriate Cabinet Minister! And if an American citizen decides to have a swim there, will they try to extradite him?
Chris Huhne, the Liberal Democrats' home affairs spokesman, attacked the Government for an "acute and prolonged bout of legislative diarrhoea". For once I must, reluctantly, agree with the Lib Dems. Labour apparently has created around 4,300 crimes since the came to power
When UKIP talks about "Independence" not only meaning independence from Europe but also in our personal lives, is is easy to understand what they mean.
Friday, 22 January 2010
Bans - Day Five
Yesterday seemed to be a ban free day, I searched through all the main British newspapers on the internet and failed to find even a hint of someone wanting a new ban.
Today we're back on track, the Daily Mail reports that
Swimming pool users banned from showering naked 'in case children are offended' HERE
It does seem that, according to some adults, children are far more sensitive these days that they used to be. My impression is the exact reverse and is that children are now much more likely to take most things in their stride without a second thought.
Today we're back on track, the Daily Mail reports that
Swimming pool users banned from showering naked 'in case children are offended' HERE
It does seem that, according to some adults, children are far more sensitive these days that they used to be. My impression is the exact reverse and is that children are now much more likely to take most things in their stride without a second thought.
Thursday, 21 January 2010
How teachers have changed
Writing below about my economics teacher who taught about the free market in terms of bartering on the then black market, it brought to mind how different teachers were then than now; I remembered his lesson for life, which would have been unlikely if it had been a dry textbook study.
Our chemistry master always seemed to have a series of uncontrolled disasters, explosions, stinks, etc, but looking back it is clear that he was a sort of Tommy Cooper in disguise. Our history master alwanys seemed to manage to end the lesson with a good battle or a nice juicy murder. Our maths master always seemed to manage to find practical examples for our algebra (if a rifle with fifty rounds and three grenades cost . . . etc, rather than apples and oranges). Our French master even manage to introduce some pictures of sexy-looking (to 15year old boys) females into the lesson. We had to work hard, risked a piece of flying chalk if we were inattentive, but we generally remembered what we were taught and none of us could say they didn't do their best for us. Most were past retiring age, because of the war, but that didn't seem to have dampened their enthusiasm.
I love the thought that somehow these teachers could come back from the past and take over at our local boy's school! It would be wonderful to be able to watch the reactions of not only the boys, who would probably enjoy it, but the reactions of the health and safety experts, OFSTED, child protection maniacs, education experts, council officials, school governors and all the others who try to tell teachers how to do their job. Contrary to David Cameron's belief, it is clear to me that teaching skills are far more important than mere academic qualifications.
Ah well, It's nice to dream occasionally!
Our chemistry master always seemed to have a series of uncontrolled disasters, explosions, stinks, etc, but looking back it is clear that he was a sort of Tommy Cooper in disguise. Our history master alwanys seemed to manage to end the lesson with a good battle or a nice juicy murder. Our maths master always seemed to manage to find practical examples for our algebra (if a rifle with fifty rounds and three grenades cost . . . etc, rather than apples and oranges). Our French master even manage to introduce some pictures of sexy-looking (to 15year old boys) females into the lesson. We had to work hard, risked a piece of flying chalk if we were inattentive, but we generally remembered what we were taught and none of us could say they didn't do their best for us. Most were past retiring age, because of the war, but that didn't seem to have dampened their enthusiasm.
I love the thought that somehow these teachers could come back from the past and take over at our local boy's school! It would be wonderful to be able to watch the reactions of not only the boys, who would probably enjoy it, but the reactions of the health and safety experts, OFSTED, child protection maniacs, education experts, council officials, school governors and all the others who try to tell teachers how to do their job. Contrary to David Cameron's belief, it is clear to me that teaching skills are far more important than mere academic qualifications.
Ah well, It's nice to dream occasionally!
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